Latest Tweets:
HER: I want your caulk
ME: I’ll repair the shit outta your kitchen windows, baby
HER: I have a crack you can caulk
ME: Yeah, then you can polish my door handle
HER: Yeah, then you can finish my basement
ME: Baby, I am gonna get you home owners insurance
HER: Oh god yeah, repair my roof and get me a fresh coat of paint
ME: Shit girl, I’m gonna unclog your pipes alllll night long
